so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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