guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
