she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
