If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
