If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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