I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
