fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
