A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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