Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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