Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
