handjob tips. give me some.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
