Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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