I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
there is puke in my bra ... again
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
