I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
