none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
