i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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