I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
