I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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