Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
