you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So. Much. Porn.
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