he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize