i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
