is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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