I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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