I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
