He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
