This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
