Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
