Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
