I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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