I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
