Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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