Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
