In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
