it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
