So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
