There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
