Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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