it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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