Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
