I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize