Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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