Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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