It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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