Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have grass duct taped all over my body
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize