2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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