guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
