the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
