I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
