Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
