hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
