The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
