i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
