Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
