UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
