We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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